By Caryn G in Dealing With Failure & Setbacks, psychology & Mental health | 22nd January 2025
Ashamed of your drinking habits and feeling like a spectacular failure?
Maybe you’ve tried to quit many times but failed dismally. You’ve promised not to drink, only to cave in as soon as someone suggests a quick one.
Maybe you didn’t need to be persuaded; you drank just to be defiant and bloody-minded and say “f**k it” to the world and all those judging you.
I went down that road many times.
It was a road full of potholes, and I fell in every damn one of them. Until one day, I woke up and knew which way to go. I knew how to avoid the potholes or jump out of them if I needed to.
I would promise not to drink, and then 10 minutes later I had a glass of wine in my hand.
Ashamed of your drinking habits and feeling like a spectacular failure?
Maybe you’ve tried to quit many times but failed dismally. You’ve promised not to drink, only to cave in as soon as someone suggests a quick one.
Maybe you didn’t need to be persuaded; you drank just to be defiant and bloody-minded and say “f**k it” to the world and all those judging you.
I went down that road many times.
It was a road full of potholes, and I fell in every damn one of them. Until one day, I woke up and knew which way to go. I knew how to avoid the potholes or jump out of them if I needed to.
I would promise not to drink, and then 10 minutes later I had a glass of wine in my hand.
Two mouthfuls later and I’d be shaking my head in disbelief and beating myself up for being a bloody-minded idiot and failing spectacularly.
I’ve been sober for over 3 years and although I‘ve kicked alcohol, some of the old loser habits still linger.
Take last night, for example; I know I should cut down on my sugar intake and give cakes and chocolates a wide berth. I thought about all the sugar I was consuming as I stuffed a sweet mince pie in my mouth. Then I thought, “Sod it!” and shovelled in another one.
I didn...
By Caryn G in Life After Alcohol, psychology & Mental health | 23rd December 2024
Mulled wine, the sound of clinking glasses, the joyous chatter of family and friends gathered together; this is the Christmas and New Year movie I played in my head for decades.
While many looked forward to indulging in seasonal drinks, I found myself grappling with a growing desire to step away from alcohol — particularly during Christmas and the New Year.
The urge to quit drinking was strong, but the pressure of societal expectations weighed heavily on my shoulders.
My gut was screaming to stop the madness whilst my body yearned to wake up alcohol-free, feeling fresh and relaxed. But, if I stopped drinking at this festive time, wouldn’t it make me the world’s biggest party pooper?
The Hangover Cycle
I remember waking up on Boxing Day every Christmas with a heavy head and a mouth like sandpaper.
The memories of the previous night’s revelries often blurred together as I sifted through the detritus of half-hearted attempts to enjoy myself.
Each year, I vowed that this would be the last time I overindulge, yet the allure of festive cheer and the clinking glasses beckoned.
The promise of laughter and merriment twinkled like a shining star in the night. Its brightness eclipsed the reality of hangovers — those grotesque mornings spent nursing a bad gut and bleary eyes.
I was tired of looking in the mirror at someone who was a stranger to me. A person I despised for being weak and pathetic unable to control her drinking. I wanted to be someone else. Someone vibrant and healthy, not perpetually worn down, looking and feeling like it’s an effort to live.
Never Happy After Alcohol?
Beyond the immediate effects of hangovers, I came to realize how alcohol impacted my physical and mental health.
Alcohol wasn’t just a temporary thrill; it wreaked havoc on my gut, disrupting digestion and leading to uncomfortable bloating, I was sure I would explode if someone were to stick a pin in me. ...
By Caryn G in Life After Alcohol, psychology & Mental health | 28th August 2024
You might think that the hardest part of quitting is missing alcohol. You would be wrong!
There’s a dark side to being sober that people rarely talk about.
The truth is, it can be uncomfortable being sober. There are all sorts of shadows lingering in the darkness waiting for you when you finally get sober. But it’s ok because if you were strong enough to decide to get sober, you’re strong enough to deal with the shadows. After all, everyone needs a hero’s journey because without one there is no happily ever after.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”― Joseph Campbell
There are some dark shadows on the road to lasting sobriety. They’re not easy to deal with but that’s ok because facing them is easier and better than waking up every day feeling guilty because you broke your promise not to drink.
It’s better than looking like you’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. Or worse still, wondering when it would be a reasonable hour to have a quick snifter or the hair of the dog.
The Shadow of Grief
The first shadow you’re going to have to deal with is the loss of your best friend. No, actually I’m wrong. The first uncomfortable truth is realising that alcohol was your best friend! That’s just not an easy truth to swallow.
It can be shocking to discover that the only genuine attachment you have developed in your entire life is an attachment to alcohol.
Booze, the only thing in your life that you loved and liked. Hell, you don’t even like or respect yourself because if you did, there is no way you would abuse your body, neglect your health or feed your soul with the rotting breadcrumbs of a life badly lived.
When you realise that you no longer have a best friend, you’re going to experience feelings of grief.
I want to be transparent here, because I believe if you know what to expect, then it’s less scary.
You are going to realise just how big a deal alcohol was in your life. Not being able to drink or go out boozing ...
