Caryn G | 27th June 2022 | Life After Alcohol

Hindsight is said to be 20/20 for a reason. Once we have time to look back on a situation, we often see things that we previously missed. This can be especially true when it comes to quitting drinking. Only when we quit can we look back and see how we were behaving like a victim. We often don’t realise we have signed up to play a victim’s role in life. We prefer to think of ourselves in the leading role. The hero battling against the terrible injustices that fate and life throw at us. Bravely dealing with our badges of pain. When we are caught up in the throes of addiction, it can be difficult to see just how much our drinking is impacting our lives. We can’t see the impact because alcohol blinds us and numbs our senses. We know it’s dark outside, but we would rather stay buried deep in the rabbit hole than face the scary monsters outside. Yes, alcohol dulls the pain, but it also dumbs down everything else. The Emotionally Unavailable Lover Only when we look back can we understand that we fell for the wrong lover. The one that played hard to get and was emotionally unavailable to us. You know what I’m talking about. We love them, but they never love us back. We want them and desire them. We give them everything. Our money, our time, our freedom. We obsess over them. We don’t really love them or like them but we want them and want is a stronger motivator than like. We need to be noticed and loved and wanted back. But this is something the emotionally unavailable lover will never do. The truth is, no one can love us back until we first love ourselves. Being A Victim You may not even realise that you are acting like a victim. Those who suffer from alcoholism often act like victims or consciously see themselves as victims, its referred to as victimism or having a victim-mindset. I didn’t realise I had been acting like a victim until I had the gift of hindsight and started to observe others who liked to drink or were trying hard to quit. Dr...