Caryn G | 17th August 2022 | Self-Improvement

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” -Paulo Coelho There are many reasons why you might decide to cut back or quit drinking. You might want freedom of choice so you can control what you put into your body because you’re working on improving your health & fitness levels. Maybe you crave financial freedom, which means you need to stop wasting your money on booze and put it into your savings or start that business you always dreamed of. If you’re creative, maybe you’ve figured out that if you cut back on mindless drinking time, you would have more time-freedom to turn your dream into reality. Whatever your motivating factor is, you’re going to need some inspiration to keep you on track to achieve your goal. So let’s dive into some great inspirational quotes from people who know what it’s like to face challenges and succeed. “You are never too old to set new goals or to dream a new dream.” - C.S.Lewis It’s never too late to make a change in your life. I was 59 when I finally quit drinking and my friend was 73. We both had decades of alcohol history under our belt. We were masters in the f**cked up art of drinking. If you’re ready to quit drinking, you’re ready to quit! Young or old, age makes no difference. Prioritise your freedom and take your first step by making a decision to improve your health, wealth, & freedom of choice today. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” -Steve Jobs Find something that inspires you and use it as motivation to quit drinking. Look for something to fall in love with. This can be anything from jigsaw puzzles to skydiving. When you are engrossed in something you love, your desire for the booze fades. This is also a good time to fall in love with yourself. Recently, I attended a Wildfit coaching call. We were discussing the need to take care of our mind and body. One attendee explained it beautifully when she said, “Selfish is the new unselfish!” So get selfish and fall in love with yourself and life. If you’re passionate about something, then it will be easier to stay committed to quitting alcohol. So find your passion and use it to fuel your motivation! Get passionate about your new life, fall in love with yourself & picture the new you one year from now. Healthy, happy, sober! “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” -Ernest Hemingway This is a big one. At some level, you probably don’t trust yourself. Maybe you don’t trust yourself to stay sober. Maybe you don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions in life. This is common amongst drinkers. We often start drinking out of a sense of lack, so it’s not surprising we don’t trust ourselves completely. Trust is built and not manufactured. Start building trust in yourself by taking baby steps. One small wise decision at a time, like a fresh homemade green vegetable juice before you go out to drink and a glass of water between drinks. Remember, the only failure is the failure to try. Everything else is market research. So trust yourself and believe in your ability to change your circumstances, your habits and your life.The more practice you get making wise choices, the better you become. In the future, you will look back and you won’t even recognise the person you are now. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill For most people, cutting back on the booze or quitting alcohol is a journey. Some people are lucky, they can make the decision to stop and give up the next day. There is no journey. They just teleport themselves into the future and adopt their future personality. People who do this often have the ability to make clear decisions in other areas of their life too. So when it comes to booze, they can make a clear distinction between the old self and the new, improved non-drinki...

Caryn G | 10th August 2022 | Self-Improvement

I can’t live without you. You are always there for me. Whenever I’m feeling down, you are always there by my side. When I’m feeling anxious and worried, you comfort me and when I’m happy you’re there to celebrate with me. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I am blessed to be living in such a fairy tale. Hello. Wake up! Don’t you know that fairy tales always have a villain? If you’re reading this, you’re probably in a relationship with alcohol. Chances are it’s not going to end well. Alcohol always wins and we always lose. It might take a pound of flesh, your money, your family, your life. The only thing for sure is there’s no happy ending in sight. Living in a Fairy tale? For many of us, alcohol is like a bad lover out of a Grimms’ fairy tale. A relationship that starts so innocently but inevitably turns into a waking nightmare. Slowly but surely, we discover that alcohol is not our twin flame, the light of our life, the rock that supports us and stands by us through thick and thin. Instead, we’ve been seduced by a wolf masquerading in sheep’s clothing. The malevolent one hiding in plain sight slowly but surely devouring us from the inside out. The more time we spend with them, the more we need them. We find ourselves longing for their company. We want them at lunch; we want them after a stressful day at work; we want them when we have dinner or when we watch tv and we want one last brief encounter before we go to sleep. And, some of us want a cheeky one in the morning too! Days, months and years go past. Until one day we start to notice we no longer enjoy their company as much. Sometimes we regret being with them. They drag us down and make us feel bad about ourselves. We notice our head hurts more often after we’ve been with them. We’re too tired to get up in the morning because we sleep less soundly. Our weight has increased and our health has decreased. We’re not always there at work and sometimes we let our family & friends down because we prioritised our lover alcohol over and above everyone and everything else. Our dreams of making it have long since been abandoned and our life is full of drama of the wrong kind.   The Spell Is Broken When the fog clears, we realise too late just how much power we have given to our bad, bad lover. We are no longer the master of our own ship. They are. Everything we do revolves around them. Even though the love has gone, we just can’t seem to kick them into touch. Anyone who’s ever had a bad lover will know that sometimes it’s just so goddamn hard to break the spell. Alcohol is like the Tinder Swindler of the dating world. It’s gonna seduce you and take your money, mind, body and soul and leave you heartbroken. They’re going to walk away once they’ve had their way and leave you crying in the gutter. Important Questions Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty if you’ve climbed into bed with the wrong lover. Feel glad that you have finally found them out. If you’re really not convinced if they are good or bad, ask yourself these questions: I know what I can do with a bad lover. But do I actually know how far I can go and what I can be without them? Creating A New Story There was a time when alcohol was my lover. I could say that sometimes he was a good lover, but that would just be my pride talking and my shame and embarrassment hiding. He was never a good lover. He kept me playing small; he stopped me from growing. He stopped me from learning how to process and deal with emotions, but most of all, he led me to make some incredibly stupid and ill informed choices. But I’m not bitter. He was a bad lover but a good teacher and without him I wouldn’t be able to show up here and help you kick your bad lover out of your bed. To kick their sorry ass into the gutter so you can grow, and be stronger and better than ever before. Now I have a new lover. Do you want to know who it is? It’s me! Self love is ...

Caryn G | 15th July 2022 | Self-Improvement

You want to kick alcohol, but it's just not that easy.    The problem is alcohol has become a regular part of life.    Whether it’s a couple of drinks with friends or a few beers while watching the game, alcohol is often seen as a harmless way to relax and have a good time. Until 1 year, 26 days and 11 hours ago, I was one of those people who thought alcohol was a good way to relax. However, for some people, drinking is a serious problem. And, if you’re reading this, the chances are some part of you knows that you need to make some life changes and better choices when it comes to drinking. When we’re struggling with alcoholism, quitting drinking may seem impossible. The chances are you’ve tried limiting the number of drinks you have or quit for an hour, a day, a week, only to go straight back to our old ways. All of which can really make us feel like a loser. Once a loser, always a loser? Wrong! It is possible to break the cycle of addiction and regain control of your life. I’ve done it and so have some of my friends. We each had a different journey, but we are all healthier, happier and wealthier because of it. It’s important to remember that when it comes to quitting the booze, there is no one size fits all. What worked for me may not work for you. You may find it hard, you may find it easy. Only you can judge because it’s your journey. The important thing is to keep going. If one method doesn’t work, don’t get discouraged. Try another until you find the perfect method for you. Remember, you’re not a loser just because one method didn’t work for you. You have simply completed some valuable research. Learn from it, tweak it and try again either with a new approach or a refined method. To help you on your way, here are 3 of the more unconventional methods you can research to help you quit drinking and stay sober. Permanent Reminder Consider a Tattoo. This may sound a bit extreme, but let’s face it: having a constant in your face reminder is one way to keep you focused. Having a tattoo reminder on your arm that you can see every day could be exactly what you need. This can be a simple visual aid, like a small cross or a date, or something more spiritual, like the words "be pure " or "freedom". The point is to create a visual prompt that means something to you. When you feel the urge to drink, you can look at it, touch it and remember why you want to quit or reduce the booze. In this way, not only will you be reprogramming your subconscious with a positive programme, it will help you to stay focused on your goal of sobriety or reduced alcohol intake. Let Your Subconscious Do The Work Hypnotherapy is another effective option for quitting drinking. Hypnotherapy can help to retrain our brain to think differently about alcohol and break the mental addiction. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably heard of hypnotherapy, but you’re not quite sure how it works. Hypnotherapy is a type of therapy that uses hypnosis to help people change their behaviour. During a hypnotherapy session, the therapist will guide you into a state of relaxation. Once you’re in this state, your brain becomes more receptive to suggestions relating to changes of behaviour. For example, if you’re trying to quit drinking, the therapist may suggest that you no longer find alcohol appealing. You can either find a hypnotherapist to work with or try one of the many audios you can find on the internet. It’s not going to harm you, and it may just work for you. The important thing to remember is to be open to change and just keep trying until you find something that works. Hang On Delayed Gratification is another tool that can be helpful in quitting drinking. This means learning to resist the urge to drink in the moment and instead focus on the long-term goal of sobriety. It can be difficult to stick to this plan, but it’s important to remember that each day or moment you resist the urge to drink...

Caryn G | 23rd December 2024 | psychology & Mental health

Mulled wine, the sound of clinking glasses, the joyous chatter of family and friends gathered together; this is the Christmas and New Year movie I played in my head for decades.   While many looked forward to indulging in seasonal drinks, I found myself grappling with a growing desire to step away from alcohol — particularly during Christmas and the New Year.    The urge to quit drinking was strong, but the pressure of societal expectations weighed heavily on my shoulders.    My gut was screaming to stop the madness whilst my body yearned to wake up alcohol-free, feeling fresh and relaxed. But, if I stopped drinking at this festive time, wouldn’t it make me the world’s biggest party pooper? The Hangover Cycle   I remember waking up on Boxing Day every Christmas with a heavy head and a mouth like sandpaper.    The memories of the previous night’s revelries often blurred together as I sifted through the detritus of half-hearted attempts to enjoy myself.    Each year, I vowed that this would be the last time I overindulge, yet the allure of festive cheer and the clinking glasses beckoned.    The promise of laughter and merriment twinkled like a shining star in the night. Its brightness eclipsed the reality of hangovers — those grotesque mornings spent nursing a bad gut and bleary eyes.    I was tired of looking in the mirror at someone who was a stranger to me. A person I despised for being weak and pathetic unable to control her drinking. I wanted to be someone else. Someone vibrant and healthy, not perpetually worn down, looking and feeling like it’s an effort to live.   Never Happy After Alcohol?   Beyond the immediate effects of hangovers, I came to realize how alcohol impacted my physical and mental health.    Alcohol wasn’t just a temporary thrill; it wreaked havoc on my gut, disrupting digestion and leading to uncomfortable bloating, I was sure I would explode if someone were to stick a pin in me.    Each drink chipped away at my well-being, leaving me feeling sluggish and unsatisfied.    The late-night snacks and posh dinners that accompanied my festive drinking only amplified my discomfort.    The days following a night out were filled with regret; not just because of the hangover but there was a growing sense of failure and a total disillusionment with my lack of self-discipline.   The relationship I had with alcohol felt increasingly toxic.    I wanted to break free from its chains, but the thought of refusing a drink brought a wave of anxiety that seemed to multiply during Christmas gatherings.    It wasn’t merely the binge drinking that was tugging at my conscience; it was that desperate feeling of wanting to enjoy the festivities while simultaneously wishing to uphold my commitment to sobriety.   Is There A Party Pooper In The Room?   One of the most significant barriers to sobriety during the holidays is the fear of judgment from others.    Christmas celebrations are inherently social, and alcohol is the lubricant that keeps the wheels of this societal fun turning.    When I first quit, I worried that refusing a drink would lead to embarrassing questions or accusations of being a spoilsport.    I had to face the wrath of the drinkers who could smell my vulnerability and susceptibility to alcohol. Comments like, “Oh, come on! Just have one!” or “You’re no fun anymore!” rang in my ears and if I’m honest, they hurt. I felt like I was an outsider and I didn’t belong.   The thought of disappointing friends and family is daunting. I didn’t want to be that person who ruined the good times for everyone else, I didn’t want to be a party pooper.    I had spent years learning how to fit into society and drink with the best of them, yet I knew that true fun shouldn’t revolve around alcohol.    I’d witnessed my close friends’ reactions to others declining drinks — those confused lo...

Caryn G | 28th August 2024 | psychology & Mental health

You might think that the hardest part of quitting is missing alcohol. You would be wrong! There’s a dark side to being sober that people rarely talk about. The truth is, it can be uncomfortable being sober. There are all sorts of shadows lingering in the darkness waiting for you when you finally get sober. But it’s ok because if you were strong enough to decide to get sober, you’re strong enough to deal with the shadows. After all, everyone needs a hero’s journey because without one there is no happily ever after. “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”― Joseph Campbell There are some dark shadows on the road to lasting sobriety. They’re not easy to deal with but that’s ok because facing them is easier and better than waking up every day feeling guilty because you broke your promise not to drink. It’s better than looking like you’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. Or worse still, wondering when it would be a reasonable hour to have a quick snifter or the hair of the dog. The Shadow of Grief The first shadow you’re going to have to deal with is the loss of your best friend. No, actually I’m wrong. The first uncomfortable truth is realising that alcohol was your best friend! That’s just not an easy truth to swallow. It can be shocking to discover that the only genuine attachment you have developed in your entire life is an attachment to alcohol. Booze, the only thing in your life that you loved and liked. Hell, you don’t even like or respect yourself because if you did, there is no way you would abuse your body, neglect your health or feed your soul with the rotting breadcrumbs of a life badly lived. When you realise that you no longer have a best friend, you’re going to experience feelings of grief. I want to be transparent here, because I believe if you know what to expect, then it’s less scary. You are going to realise just how big a deal alcohol was in your life. Not being able to drink or go out boozing is going to create a huge void which you will have to fill. You will feel like you have lost a loved one and for some of you it will hurt like hell. The good news is now that you are no longer a slave to alcohol, you get to choose what and who you fill that void with. This is harder than it sounds, so start with yourself. Make an effort to love yourself, rethink your values and create a better you. To give you some context, since I quit drinking alcohol I have started running, and I have taken myself from the couch to 5k. I’ve set up a niche website and learnt new skills and I’ve made an effort to stay connected to people who I want to be around. Not people who just happen to be in a bar and who also like drinking. Life get’s better without alcohol. Much, much better! The Shadow Of Stunted Growth Once the alcoholic haze has lifted and you realise that you can no longer rely on alcohol to numb the pain or help you make stupid, irrational emotional decisions. You’re left with only one option: face your problems and feel all sorts of negative emotions in their true, raw form. Indecision, confusion, fear, hate, anger. For the first time in your life, you are going to understand that you are an emotional retard who has never learnt the skills needed to deal with life without alcohol. But like everything on this journey, there is a massive upside. In this case, it’s the chance to rebuild your life. You get a chance to make better decisions, to learn new supporting skills, and to learn how to navigate confusion and uncertainty. Making better decisions is a skill, negotiating pain is a skill. All it takes is a little guidance and a bit of patience. The Shadow of The Reckoning Once your mind and body are at peace and your subconscious figures out you are stable, it’s going to start bringing up past traumas. I won’t lie. This can be quite a shock when it starts to happen. Both my friend and I went through this at the same time, so we were able to ...

Caryn G | 27th June 2022 | Relationships

Hindsight is said to be 20/20 for a reason. Once we have time to look back on a situation, we often see things that we previously missed. This can be especially true when it comes to quitting drinking. Only when we quit can we look back and see how we were behaving like a victim. We often don’t realise we have signed up to play a victim’s role in life. We prefer to think of ourselves in the leading role. The hero battling against the terrible injustices that fate and life throw at us. Bravely dealing with our badges of pain. When we are caught up in the throes of addiction, it can be difficult to see just how much our drinking is impacting our lives. We can’t see the impact because alcohol blinds us and numbs our senses. We know it’s dark outside, but we would rather stay buried deep in the rabbit hole than face the scary monsters outside. Yes, alcohol dulls the pain, but it also dumbs down everything else. The Emotionally Unavailable Lover Only when we look back can we understand that we fell for the wrong lover. The one that played hard to get and was emotionally unavailable to us. You know what I’m talking about. We love them, but they never love us back. We want them and desire them. We give them everything. Our money, our time, our freedom. We obsess over them. We don’t really love them or like them but we want them and want is a stronger motivator than like. We need to be noticed and loved and wanted back. But this is something the emotionally unavailable lover will never do. The truth is, no one can love us back until we first love ourselves. Being A Victim You may not even realise that you are acting like a victim. Those who suffer from alcoholism often act like victims or consciously see themselves as victims, its referred to as victimism  or having a victim-mindset. I didn’t realise I had been acting like a victim until I had the gift of hindsight and started to observe others who liked to drink or were trying hard to quit. Drinkers often blame their drinking on problems at work, their lousy relationships, or some traumatic event that happened in their lives. I know I did. They love to complain about the problems in their lives and don’t like to take responsibility for what happens to them, preferring instead to blame the system, their bad luck, fate. The truth is it is easier to be a victim than to change and take control of our life. By being a victim, we always get to justify our drinking, which makes it easy to say we have no control over our drinking or our behaviour. However, this is not the truth. Making Hard Choices Alcoholics are fully capable of making the choice to drink or not to drink. The victim mentality is simply a way to avoid taking responsibility for our actions. If you find yourself thinking like a victim, remember that you are in control of your own life and your own choices. You can choose to change your attitude and take control of your life. It may not be easy, but it is possible. We are the captain of our own ship. So set sail in the direction of your dreams. Take control, accept responsibility for where you are now. Learn to love and accept yourself and never, ever look back. Live Strong, Love & Be Sober Join the Sober Revolution HEER and get the next blog post direct to your inbox.    Liked this article?  Here's a few more to read:  3 serious things to know before you quit drinking 3 things you stop doing when you give up alcohol  ...

Caryn G | 04th June 2022 | psychology & Mental health

If you’re thinking about giving up alcohol, or have already done so, then congratulations! It’s definitely not an easy feat, but it’s so worth it in the end. I can say that with conviction because according to my app, I gave up drinking 11 months, 21 days and 16 hours ago. Just to put this into context, my drinking career spanned over four decades, so I think it’s fair to say drinking was a well-established habit. As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” I had tried and failed to give up in the past so I was surprised at how easy I found it this time. But here I am, happy, healthy and alcohol-free. When you give up alcohol, there are a few things that you stop doing. Here are 3 of the big ones. Calculating Your Point Of No Return For starters, you no longer have to worry about calculating how much you can drink before getting a hangover. When you are out with friends or work colleagues, it’s difficult to say no to a drink. But if alcohol is your best friend, it’s virtually impossible to say no to another drink, even though you know you have to get up for work the next morning. You may start the evening with good intentions and decide that you are only going to have just “the one” because of work tomorrow. But, by the time you have chugged your first drink, your good intentions have left the building. Before you know what is happening, you hear yourself saying, “I shouldn’t really but go on then.” “Our society not only encourages drinking — it takes issue with people who don’t drink.” Annie Grace Author of This Naked Mind Bye Bye Guilt One of the major benefits of not drinking is that you are suddenly relieved of a massive amount of guilt. When you stop drinking there is nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t have to worry that you embarrassed yourself by drinking too much, or by saying the wrong thing because alcohol made you brave, obnoxious, or just plain stupid. “Alcohol erases a bit of you every time you drink it. It can even erase entire nights when you are on a binge. Alcohol does not relieve stress; it erases your senses and your ability to think. Alcohol ultimately erases your self.”― Annie Grace, This Naked Mind Stockpiling Booze Once alcohol is off the menu you no longer have to wonder if you should take an extra bottle of wine to your friend’s party because three isn’t enough. You don’t have to buy wine in bulk or give that fancy bottle of champagne space in your fridge. Instead, you can make room for the healthy stuff, the things that help you thrive instead of just surviving. When you love alcohol, it creates a lack-mindset because there is never enough. The desire to drink even when you have clearly had enough and poisoned your system is overwhelming. One drink, one bottle just isn’t enough. When you are constantly saying I need more, your subconscious hears I am not enough. No one ever developed high self-esteem whilst simultaneously smashing it to death with a bottle. Staying On the Wagon If you’re struggling to stay on the wagon, here are a few things that might help: Find a hobby: When you’re not drinking, you might find you have a lot of free time on your hands. This is the perfect opportunity to pick up a new hobby or rediscover an old one. From painting to hiking to cooking, there are endless possibilities! It may take time for your imagination to kick in but trust me, give it time and it will. Staying on the wagon will get a lot easier when you give yourself new things to think about. Hang out with sober friends: It can be difficult to be around people who are drinking when you’re trying to stay on the wagon. That’s why it’s important to have sober friends that you can rely on for support. Stay busy: One of the best ways to avoid temptation and stay on the wagon is to keep yourself busy. Whether taking up a new hobby or staying extra busy at...