You are the dumbest, smartest person you know. And when you quit drinking, you are going to realise just how dumb you have been.
You’re going to realise what a complete and total moron you were for opening the door to alcohol.
You might think this is a bit harsh. It’s not. The truth is once you quit drinking, reality is going to come knocking on your door and you’re going to have to face it.
It won’t be easy.
Your Drinking Life Revealed
You’ll have to take a long, hard look at how you got where you are now. Some of you won’t want to do it because you know deep in your heart that it won’t be pretty.
Trust me, I know I’ve been there and there’s a damn good reason they call it the ugly truth.
If you want to move forward, you need to take a long, cool look at your past. It’s the only way to learn and grow. So take a moment and sit down to think about the choices you have made about alcohol and then make a list.
What you discover will shock you & upset you as you write things like:
- Wasted a shed-load of money. Hell, I could’ve bought a house by now.
- Lost my memory when I blacked out.
- Had hundreds of conversations about things I couldn’t remember the next day.
- Said countless things I shouldn’t have.
- Drank so much that I damaged my body and needed to take time off work.
- Loved alcohol more than I loved myself.
- Prioritised booze instead of my life.
- Didn’t perform well at my job.
- Played small when I should’ve played big.
This is not an inclusive list. Once you get started you will find it grows as you finally get honest with yourself and confess those deep dark drinking secrets.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
When you start to realise how alcohol screwed up your life, you’re going to feel angry.
You’re going to feel mad at yourself for not quitting sooner.
You’re going to feel so bloody angry that you lost so much of your life to some goddamn crappy, poisonous, chemical concoction that society conditioned you to believe was glamorous and necessary.
That’s ok.
Feel that anger. Really experience it and then do something you probably haven’t done before. Forgive yourself for not being the person you wanted to be. Put the old you firmly in the past and welcome the new you. Let the anger go and start to build a new, better future.
It’s going to be emotional.
Freedom From Alcohol
No one wants to see how badly they have screwed up, but you got this.
You’re a different person now, with a new perspective and a new life, and you have one thing you never had before.
Freedom.
When you quit drinking, you gain freedom of choice.
You can choose what you put into your body. You are no longer a slave to alcohol. And because you don’t need booze, you don’t need all those unhealthy snacks you used to eat to soak up the drink. It’s not only your body that’s going to get healthier. Your emotions are going to stabilise, you’re going to feel more in control of your life and even better news your bank balance is going to improve too.
Let your anger work for you, so you can move forward and create a better, brighter future. You can’t change the past, but you do have the freedom to design your new alcohol-free life.
Start by taking a look at that list you made.
Where you were playing small, take decisive action, be bold and play big. If you’ve let people down in the past, make a conscious effort to show up and keep your word. Respect yourself and respect your body.
Focus on the change you want to be, understand that you may be a victim of the alcohol culture but also know it’s your responsibility to fix it. If it gets too much, reach out for help and everything else will flow from there.
Live Strong, Love and Be sober
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Caryn G | 01st December 2022 | psychology
You don’t know you’re fighting for your life because you’re an idiot and you’ve lost the ability to see what a complete and total loser you have become. You think you’re just fighting for another drink because that’s the only movie playing in your head. There’s a bloody loud voice that’s screaming insistently in brutally blunt language “Drink!” “I want a drink!” “Will somebody please just give me a f*****ing drink!” Too sad. You chose to ignore reality and the giant warning signs along the path to the bottle of booze AKA poison. You forgot to read the small print that said, 100% guaranteed “End Your Life Hack.” Come on, let’s get honest here. You did ignore them, didn’t you? You chose to get drunk. You chose to have a hangover, you chose to wash, rinse and repeat and to become an alcoholic. Ttatty Was that a little harsh? I don’t think it was. I don’t think it was harsh enough. What I really should have said was wake up, you bloody idiot! What the hell are you doing to yourself? You are choosing alcohol over life. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, good about what you are doing. Sliding into that bottle every night is just a lack of imagination on your part and a huge act of cowardice! Wake up and grow a pair of balls for god’s sake. Develop the self-care skills you need to change your life and deal with problems in a way that doesn’t kill you and poison the lives of everyone around you. Stop telling yourself that your life sucks. Get out of the cage of fear and get some real help and real support. Find some people you can trust. People who don’t drink and who can see the world from a different perspective. Your Friends Suck Don’t hang around with the enablers. The people who are drinkers. Drinkers can’t give you any guidance. They drink for god’s sake! They can’t be honest with you because they don’t want to be honest with themselves. This is the brutal reality. You can’t trust them. They can’t tell you that you are drinking too much because then they would have to question their own drinking habits. They have a secret, vested interest in keeping you a drinker. It makes them feel better about themselves and their habits. They can only be superior if there is someone below them. You are that someone! The dirt beneath their feet. You make them feel normal and superior. They don’t want you to change because then they would have to look at their own drinking habits and no one wants to do that! use this mindset shift if you want to quit drinking The Alcohol Ladder Whether you like it or not, life is all about hierarchies. Other drinkers need you to have a drink problem. Hell, they secretly want you to have a big drink problem so they can maintain a higher position on the ladder. They need alcoholics so that they can distinguish themselves and pretend they don’t have a problem with alcohol. That’s why all drinkers need the dirty, smelly guys in the streets clutching their sad little bottle; the only cold comfort they have to stave off the harsh realities of life. The down and outs — God bless ’em. How we love them for being in the gutter and clutching their bottle of strong liquid meths. How superior they make us feel. They keep the whole damn pyramid scheme propped up. If it wasn’t for them, the heavy drinkers and the binge drinkers would have no one to look down on and everything would get a little more scary, a little more nasty and a little more real. So take a good long look at the person in the mirror. Then take a deep breath, thank them for all the valuable lessons they have taught you and then say goodbye to them because you’ve got work to do and it means you have to kick alcohol into touch. Walk away, pick up your pen and paper and write these ...
Caryn G | 08th August 2022 | psychology
Have you ever wondered why some people can quit drinking easily whilst for others it seems impossible? There is a lot of debate surrounding the topic of alcohol addiction and whether it should be classified as a disease. Some people believe that alcoholism is a result of genetics or other outside factors, while others insist that it is a choice that individuals make. What if it’s neither? What if you’ve been conditioned and brainwashed into drinking and the only way you can stop or cut down is if you change your programming? I know many of you are thinking I am some sort of nutter right now. But hear me out. In this article, we will explore both sides of the argument and come to our own conclusion on the matter. Alcoholism is a very real and serious problem. It can lead to financial ruin, job loss, relationship problems, and even death. However, just because something is a serious problem does it mean that it should be classified as a disease? There are studies supporting both viewpoints. The general definition of alcoholism also known as alcohol addiction, is a chronic disease of the brain that’s characterised by compulsive decision-making, impulsive behaviour and relapse. It’s triggered by genetic and environmental factors, and it causes biological changes in the brain that make abstaining from alcohol nearly impossible without medical treatment. Medical Intervention If you think of Alcohol Addiction as a disease and accept the definition, then most people will tell you that the only way to get rid of or cure this condition is by going through doctors and drug companies. This is a big win for drug companies who stand to make a lot of money from treating alcoholism and alcohol-related problems. I wrote a short article on 3 unconventional approaches which you can read here. According to the WHO, there are 3.3 million alcohol-related deaths worldwide as well as a significant impact on the disabilities and poor health of millions of people. Overall, harmful use of alcohol is responsible for 5.1% of the global burden of disease. Many professionals seem convinced we are never really free from alcohol addiction, instead we remain in remission (or “in hiding”) until the day comes when treatments fail or something else happens, which causes us to reach for the booze again. We are never cured. We are all just waiting for our next relapse! My friend believes in all these things too. He also says if either one of us falls back into addiction again, he’ll feel worse than before because now his soul has been taken away from him yet again. Conditioning & Brainwashing So, if alcoholism is not a disease, what is it? Many experts believe that it is a choice and that individuals have free will. But is that really true? Like it or not, we are all conditioned, so whether we have freedom around alcohol has to be questionable. We are conditioned by our parents, by our teachers and schools, by society as a whole and by advertisers. You may think that you haven’t been conditioned when it comes to alcohol, but that is highly unlikely. It’s harsh to say, but like a pedophile grooms kids, you’ve been groomed to accept alcohol. To give you some perspective take a look at the list below to see just how often you are encouraged to drink alcohol. Birth of a baby Announcement of a pregnancy Getting a job Leaving a job At a wake Celebrating the new year Celebrating your birthday Celebrating the birthday of a friend Moving house Buying a house Valentines day Graduating from university Going to university Getting engaged Getting married Getting a pay rise Being made redundant Christmas day Thanksgiving Having some good luck Relaxing on the beach on holiday As you can see from this very tiny list, we have been conditioned to drink at every conceivable, possible life event. But this list is only the tip of the iceberg, because when you are a drinker, every day is a drinking day and e...
Caryn G | 01st December 2022 | psychology
You don’t know you’re fighting for your life because you’re an idiot and you’ve lost the ability to see what a complete and total loser you have become. You think you’re just fighting for another drink because that’s the only movie playing in your head. There’s a bloody loud voice that’s screaming insistently in brutally blunt language “Drink!” “I want a drink!” “Will somebody please just give me a f*****ing drink!” Too sad. You chose to ignore reality and the giant warning signs along the path to the bottle of booze AKA poison. You forgot to read the small print that said, 100% guaranteed “End Your Life Hack.” Come on, let’s get honest here. You did ignore them, didn’t you? You chose to get drunk. You chose to have a hangover, you chose to wash, rinse and repeat and to become an alcoholic. Ttatty Was that a little harsh? I don’t think it was. I don’t think it was harsh enough. What I really should have said was wake up, you bloody idiot! What the hell are you doing to yourself? You are choosing alcohol over life. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, good about what you are doing. Sliding into that bottle every night is just a lack of imagination on your part and a huge act of cowardice! Wake up and grow a pair of balls for god’s sake. Develop the self-care skills you need to change your life and deal with problems in a way that doesn’t kill you and poison the lives of everyone around you. Stop telling yourself that your life sucks. Get out of the cage of fear and get some real help and real support. Find some people you can trust. People who don’t drink and who can see the world from a different perspective. Your Friends Suck Don’t hang around with the enablers. The people who are drinkers. Drinkers can’t give you any guidance. They drink for god’s sake! They can’t be honest with you because they don’t want to be honest with themselves. This is the brutal reality. You can’t trust them. They can’t tell you that you are drinking too much because then they would have to question their own drinking habits. They have a secret, vested interest in keeping you a drinker. It makes them feel better about themselves and their habits. They can only be superior if there is someone below them. You are that someone! The dirt beneath their feet. You make them feel normal and superior. They don’t want you to change because then they would have to look at their own drinking habits and no one wants to do that! use this mindset shift if you want to quit drinking The Alcohol Ladder Whether you like it or not, life is all about hierarchies. Other drinkers need you to have a drink problem. Hell, they secretly want you to have a big drink problem so they can maintain a higher position on the ladder. They need alcoholics so that they can distinguish themselves and pretend they don’t have a problem with alcohol. That’s why all drinkers need the dirty, smelly guys in the streets clutching their sad little bottle; the only cold comfort they have to stave off the harsh realities of life. The down and outs — God bless ’em. How we love them for being in the gutter and clutching their bottle of strong liquid meths. How superior they make us feel. They keep the whole damn pyramid scheme propped up. If it wasn’t for them, the heavy drinkers and the binge drinkers would have no one to look down on and everything would get a little more scary, a little more nasty and a little more real. So take a good long look at the person in the mirror. Then take a deep breath, thank them for all the valuable lessons they have taught you and then say goodbye to them because you’ve got work to do and it means you have to kick alcohol into touch. Walk away, pick up your pen and paper and write these ...
Caryn G | 10th August 2022 | Self-Improvement
I can’t live without you. You are always there for me. Whenever I’m feeling down, you are always there by my side. When I’m feeling anxious and worried, you comfort me and when I’m happy you’re there to celebrate with me. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I am blessed to be living in such a fairy tale. Hello. Wake up! Don’t you know that fairy tales always have a villain? If you’re reading this, you’re probably in a relationship with alcohol. Chances are it’s not going to end well. Alcohol always wins and we always lose. It might take a pound of flesh, your money, your family, your life. The only thing for sure is there’s no happy ending in sight. Living in a Fairy tale? For many of us, alcohol is like a bad lover out of a Grimms’ fairy tale. A relationship that starts so innocently but inevitably turns into a waking nightmare. Slowly but surely, we discover that alcohol is not our twin flame, the light of our life, the rock that supports us and stands by us through thick and thin. Instead, we’ve been seduced by a wolf masquerading in sheep’s clothing. The malevolent one hiding in plain sight slowly but surely devouring us from the inside out. The more time we spend with them, the more we need them. We find ourselves longing for their company. We want them at lunch; we want them after a stressful day at work; we want them when we have dinner or when we watch tv and we want one last brief encounter before we go to sleep. And, some of us want a cheeky one in the morning too! Days, months and years go past. Until one day we start to notice we no longer enjoy their company as much. Sometimes we regret being with them. They drag us down and make us feel bad about ourselves. We notice our head hurts more often after we’ve been with them. We’re too tired to get up in the morning because we sleep less soundly. Our weight has increased and our health has decreased. We’re not always there at work and sometimes we let our family & friends down because we prioritised our lover alcohol over and above everyone and everything else. Our dreams of making it have long since been abandoned and our life is full of drama of the wrong kind. The Spell Is Broken When the fog clears, we realise too late just how much power we have given to our bad, bad lover. We are no longer the master of our own ship. They are. Everything we do revolves around them. Even though the love has gone, we just can’t seem to kick them into touch. Anyone who’s ever had a bad lover will know that sometimes it’s just so goddamn hard to break the spell. Alcohol is like the Tinder Swindler of the dating world. It’s gonna seduce you and take your money, mind, body and soul and leave you heartbroken. They’re going to walk away once they’ve had their way and leave you crying in the gutter. Important Questions Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty if you’ve climbed into bed with the wrong lover. Feel glad that you have finally found them out. If you’re really not convinced if they are good or bad, ask yourself these questions: I know what I can do with a bad lover. But do I actually know how far I can go and what I can be without them? Creating A New Story There was a time when alcohol was my lover. I could say that sometimes he was a good lover, but that would just be my pride talking and my shame and embarrassment hiding. He was never a good lover. He kept me playing small; he stopped me from growing. He stopped me from learning how to process and deal with emotions, but most of all, he led me to make some incredibly stupid and ill informed choices. But I’m not bitter. He was a bad lover but a good teacher and without him I wouldn’t be able to show up here and help you kick your bad lover out of your bed. To kick their sorry ass into the gutter so you can grow, and be stronger and better than ever before. Now I have a new lover. Do you want to know who it is? It’s me! Self love is ...
Caryn G | 21st July 2022 | psychology & Mental health
Self-medicating with alcohol? When we feel like life is shit, the easy thing to do is reach for a drink. Just one glass and all our troubles will disappear. Alcohol, our saviour. Except it isn’t. If you’re reading this, there is a part of you that wants to change your toxic relationship to drink. Intuitively, you know that there is a better way and that you need to wake up because alcohol is not going to change your life for the better. Face it! Accept it and then take steps to change it. First things first, when life is crap and it’s not where we want it to be, we have to accept that no amount of beer, wine or whisky is going to change that. Only you can. Self-medicating with alcohol will hurt you more than it will help. hen you are drinking, you are only focused on the drink. You don’t care about anything else. You don’t care about your health, your family, or your future. All you care about is getting that next drink, getting high or forgetting about your problems. The fact that we are the source of our own problems is something that we drinkers overlook. As an ex-drinker and daughter of an alcoholic, I’ve had decades of experience with alcohol. As an ex-drinker, I know that most of us are able to ignore the fact that alcohol has helped turn us into an emotional retard that is unable to process & manage emotions. This is all perfectly understandable given the drinking culture we are born into. But just because something is understandable doesn’t make it right. Feeling happy? Celebrate with a drink. Problems at work? Forget about them with a drink. eeling bored? Get over it with a drink. Sooner or later, you have to decide you are ready to stop hiding from your fears & failures, make a change for the better, and face the monster under the bed. You can stop self-medicating When we have made that decision, we can take a step towards a brighter future. If you want to quit or reduce your alcohol intake, there are 3 important areas to invest your time and energy developing. A Shoulder to Cry On Birds of a feather flock together. Take a look around at the people you are choosing to hang out with. Do they drink the same or more than you? In both cases, you need to get a new support system. We can’t rely on the people who drink the same as us for support because they won’t or can’t see drinking as a problem. We can’t ask anyone who drinks more than us because by saying our drinking is out of control, we are also implying they are an alcoholic. Whilst it may be true, they probably don’t want to hear it. One of the most important things you need to do when quitting drinking is to change your support system. If your current support system consists of other drinkers, then it’s time to find new friends who don’t drink. These new friends can help you stay on track, provide a different outlook on life, and achieve sobriety. They will be there for you when you’re struggling and want to give up. They will never encourage you to have a drink to get over your problems because that’s not how they solve their problems. New Horizons In addition to changing your support system, you also need to find a new direction for your life, which means getting guidance. We often discuss our problems with other drinkers who are really in no position to give us guidance on how to quit or reduce the booze or how to change our lives and make better decisions. Many of us who drink have simply lost the ability or never had the ability to make good decisions and life choices, especially when it comes to emotional decisions. As drinkers, we rarely take the time to figure out what to do with our emotions. For most of us, we have sought guidance from alcohol. We say things like, I can’t decide now. I’ll have a drink and think about it. Except, we don’t think about it. We drown our emotions with alcohol or react inappropria...
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Caryn G | 22nd January 2025 | psychology & Mental health
Ashamed of your drinking habits and feeling like a spectacular failure? Maybe you’ve tried to quit many times but failed dismally. You’ve promised not to drink, only to cave in as soon as someone suggests a quick one. Maybe you didn’t need to be persuaded; you drank just to be defiant and bloody-minded and say “f**k it” to the world and all those judging you. I went down that road many times. It was a road full of potholes, and I fell in every damn one of them. Until one day, I woke up and knew which way to go. I knew how to avoid the potholes or jump out of them if I needed to. I would promise not to drink, and then 10 minutes later I had a glass of wine in my hand. Ashamed of your drinking habits and feeling like a spectacular failure? Maybe you’ve tried to quit many times but failed dismally. You’ve promised not to drink, only to cave in as soon as someone suggests a quick one. Maybe you didn’t need to be persuaded; you drank just to be defiant and bloody-minded and say “f**k it” to the world and all those judging you. I went down that road many times. It was a road full of potholes, and I fell in every damn one of them. Until one day, I woke up and knew which way to go. I knew how to avoid the potholes or jump out of them if I needed to. I would promise not to drink, and then 10 minutes later I had a glass of wine in my hand. Two mouthfuls later and I’d be shaking my head in disbelief and beating myself up for being a bloody-minded idiot and failing spectacularly. I’ve been sober for over 3 years and although I‘ve kicked alcohol, some of the old loser habits still linger. Take last night, for example; I know I should cut down on my sugar intake and give cakes and chocolates a wide berth. I thought about all the sugar I was consuming as I stuffed a sweet mince pie in my mouth. Then I thought, “Sod it!” and shovelled in another one. I didn’t need it, I didn’t want it and It didn’t make me feel good. I wasn’t happy. I was just miserable and disappointed in my failure. I felt sad and depressed as I realised I had kicked the drink but the old self-destructive habits still lingered. I was still failing. Was I addicted to failure? I mused. Maybe this is you. Maybe you feel like you no longer enjoy drinking; you don’t really want it, but you keep drinking anyway. It’s just what you do. Or, maybe you’ve quit but you’ve replaced alcohol with ice cream, cakes, chocolates and sweets and now you’re having a hard time quitting them. So what should you do when you’re addicted to failure? Understanding the Fear of Failure The fear of failing can be paralyzing. At worst, it could prevent you from doing what’s needed to quit drinking altogether. When we can understand a bit more about the psychology of our fears, we can take one giant step towards conquering them. Here’s a little insight into why we find it hard to succeed. Past Experiences: Previous attempts that ended in failure are often used by the subconscious to create negative narratives. We end up talking ourselves out of success and into failure. That nasty little voice in your head kills your chances before you even try by using phrases like these:- You can’t do it. You always fail. You only lasted 20 minutes last time! What makes you think it will work now? Your subconscious will use these phrases to convince you it’s useless to try. If this happens to you try flipping the script and ask empowering questions like, “How can I make it work this time?” Self-Doubt: Constantly battling negative thoughts about your abilities can undermine your confidence. When this happens it’s like you lose the will to live. You become so down that it seems pointless to even try and climb out. As my mum used to say when anything dented he...
Caryn G | 23rd December 2024 | psychology & Mental health
Mulled wine, the sound of clinking glasses, the joyous chatter of family and friends gathered together; this is the Christmas and New Year movie I played in my head for decades. While many looked forward to indulging in seasonal drinks, I found myself grappling with a growing desire to step away from alcohol — particularly during Christmas and the New Year. The urge to quit drinking was strong, but the pressure of societal expectations weighed heavily on my shoulders. My gut was screaming to stop the madness whilst my body yearned to wake up alcohol-free, feeling fresh and relaxed. But, if I stopped drinking at this festive time, wouldn’t it make me the world’s biggest party pooper? The Hangover Cycle I remember waking up on Boxing Day every Christmas with a heavy head and a mouth like sandpaper. The memories of the previous night’s revelries often blurred together as I sifted through the detritus of half-hearted attempts to enjoy myself. Each year, I vowed that this would be the last time I overindulge, yet the allure of festive cheer and the clinking glasses beckoned. The promise of laughter and merriment twinkled like a shining star in the night. Its brightness eclipsed the reality of hangovers — those grotesque mornings spent nursing a bad gut and bleary eyes. I was tired of looking in the mirror at someone who was a stranger to me. A person I despised for being weak and pathetic unable to control her drinking. I wanted to be someone else. Someone vibrant and healthy, not perpetually worn down, looking and feeling like it’s an effort to live. Never Happy After Alcohol? Beyond the immediate effects of hangovers, I came to realize how alcohol impacted my physical and mental health. Alcohol wasn’t just a temporary thrill; it wreaked havoc on my gut, disrupting digestion and leading to uncomfortable bloating, I was sure I would explode if someone were to stick a pin in me. Each drink chipped away at my well-being, leaving me feeling sluggish and unsatisfied. The late-night snacks and posh dinners that accompanied my festive drinking only amplified my discomfort. The days following a night out were filled with regret; not just because of the hangover but there was a growing sense of failure and a total disillusionment with my lack of self-discipline. The relationship I had with alcohol felt increasingly toxic. I wanted to break free from its chains, but the thought of refusing a drink brought a wave of anxiety that seemed to multiply during Christmas gatherings. It wasn’t merely the binge drinking that was tugging at my conscience; it was that desperate feeling of wanting to enjoy the festivities while simultaneously wishing to uphold my commitment to sobriety. Is There A Party Pooper In The Room? One of the most significant barriers to sobriety during the holidays is the fear of judgment from others. Christmas celebrations are inherently social, and alcohol is the lubricant that keeps the wheels of this societal fun turning. When I first quit, I worried that refusing a drink would lead to embarrassing questions or accusations of being a spoilsport. I had to face the wrath of the drinkers who could smell my vulnerability and susceptibility to alcohol. Comments like, “Oh, come on! Just have one!” or “You’re no fun anymore!” rang in my ears and if I’m honest, they hurt. I felt like I was an outsider and I didn’t belong. The thought of disappointing friends and family is daunting. I didn’t want to be that person who ruined the good times for everyone else, I didn’t want to be a party pooper. I had spent years learning how to fit into society and drink with the best of them, yet I knew that true fun shouldn’t revolve around alcohol. I’d witnessed my close friends’ reactions to others declining drinks — those confused lo...
Caryn G | 28th August 2024 | psychology & Mental health
You might think that the hardest part of quitting is missing alcohol. You would be wrong! There’s a dark side to being sober that people rarely talk about. The truth is, it can be uncomfortable being sober. There are all sorts of shadows lingering in the darkness waiting for you when you finally get sober. But it’s ok because if you were strong enough to decide to get sober, you’re strong enough to deal with the shadows. After all, everyone needs a hero’s journey because without one there is no happily ever after. “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”― Joseph Campbell There are some dark shadows on the road to lasting sobriety. They’re not easy to deal with but that’s ok because facing them is easier and better than waking up every day feeling guilty because you broke your promise not to drink. It’s better than looking like you’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. Or worse still, wondering when it would be a reasonable hour to have a quick snifter or the hair of the dog. The Shadow of Grief The first shadow you’re going to have to deal with is the loss of your best friend. No, actually I’m wrong. The first uncomfortable truth is realising that alcohol was your best friend! That’s just not an easy truth to swallow. It can be shocking to discover that the only genuine attachment you have developed in your entire life is an attachment to alcohol. Booze, the only thing in your life that you loved and liked. Hell, you don’t even like or respect yourself because if you did, there is no way you would abuse your body, neglect your health or feed your soul with the rotting breadcrumbs of a life badly lived. When you realise that you no longer have a best friend, you’re going to experience feelings of grief. I want to be transparent here, because I believe if you know what to expect, then it’s less scary. You are going to realise just how big a deal alcohol was in your life. Not being able to drink or go out boozing is going to create a huge void which you will have to fill. You will feel like you have lost a loved one and for some of you it will hurt like hell. The good news is now that you are no longer a slave to alcohol, you get to choose what and who you fill that void with. This is harder than it sounds, so start with yourself. Make an effort to love yourself, rethink your values and create a better you. To give you some context, since I quit drinking alcohol I have started running, and I have taken myself from the couch to 5k. I’ve set up a niche website and learnt new skills and I’ve made an effort to stay connected to people who I want to be around. Not people who just happen to be in a bar and who also like drinking. Life get’s better without alcohol. Much, much better! The Shadow Of Stunted Growth Once the alcoholic haze has lifted and you realise that you can no longer rely on alcohol to numb the pain or help you make stupid, irrational emotional decisions. You’re left with only one option: face your problems and feel all sorts of negative emotions in their true, raw form. Indecision, confusion, fear, hate, anger. For the first time in your life, you are going to understand that you are an emotional retard who has never learnt the skills needed to deal with life without alcohol. But like everything on this journey, there is a massive upside. In this case, it’s the chance to rebuild your life. You get a chance to make better decisions, to learn new supporting skills, and to learn how to navigate confusion and uncertainty. Making better decisions is a skill, negotiating pain is a skill. All it takes is a little guidance and a bit of patience. The Shadow of The Reckoning Once your mind and body are at peace and your subconscious figures out you are stable, it’s going to start bringing up past traumas. I won’t lie. This can be quite a shock when it starts to happen. Both my friend and I went through this at the same time, so we were able to ...
Caryn G | 05th August 2024 | Health
Welcome to Join Sober: Your Guide to Thriving in an Alcohol-Infused World Welcome to Join Sober! If you have ever felt like you are swimming upstream in a culture completely obsessed with drinking, you are in the exact right place. This website is your dedicated sanctuary—a space filled with raw, unfiltered, and life-changing Quit Lit designed to help you reclaim your power, break free from the trap of alcohol, and finally start living the life you aspire to. Whether you are here because you are starting to question your relationship with alcohol, looking for actionable ways to stop, or seeking a massive upgrade in your personal growth, sobriety and happiness are closer than you think. It’s time to join the Sober Revolution. What You’ll Find on Join Sober To help you navigate your journey, our articles are grouped by exactly how you are feeling and what you need right now. Dive into our core pillars to get started: 1. Brutal Truths for the Sober Curious Before you can change your habits, you have to smash through the denial. In this section, we dive into the unvarnished realities of alcohol. We explore the profound impacts of drinking on your Physical Health—from disrupted sleep to toxic inflammation—as well as the deep Mental Health & Psychology of addiction, exposing the chemical anxiety ("hangxiety") and dopamine crashes that alcohol leaves in its wake. If you are ready to see alcohol for what it truly is, start here. 2. Strategies to Quit When you are ready to put down the glass, you don't need vague inspiration—you need practical, real-world tactics. This section is packed with actionable roadmaps and immediate coping mechanisms to help you survive the early days, set firm boundaries, and take back control of your life. 👉 Get started right now: [3 Essential Quit Drinking Strategies for Self-Medicating With Alcohol] 3. Dealing with Failure & Setbacks Let's be completely honest: recovery is rarely a straight line. If you have stumbled, relapsed, or felt the crushing weight of falling off the wagon, you are not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. This corner of the site focuses heavily on emotional resilience and Self-Improvement. We unpack the psychological traps of shame and give you the tools to treat yourself with compassion, dust yourself off, and turn a setback into a setup for long-term success. 4. Life After Alcohol Sobriety isn't about deprivation; it's about absolute freedom. Here, we celebrate the incredible rewards of long-term sober living. We talk about navigating Sober Relationships, handling peer pressure at social events, finding your true identity, and building a meaningful life that you don't feel the need to escape from. 👉 See what's waiting for you: [1 Thing You Notice Once You Stop Drinking] Shift Your Mindset & Take the First Step The hardest part of giving up alcohol isn't changing what is in your glass—it’s changing how you think. If you want to successfully quit drinking for good, you have to stop viewing sobriety as a punishment and start viewing it as the ultimate promotion. 👉 Read our guide on how to flip the switch: [Use This Mindset Shift If You Want to Quit Drinking] Your sober journey begins the moment you decide you've had enough of living in a fog. Explore our Quit Lit, find the stage that matches your heart today, and let's build your alcohol-free dream life together. 🚀 Join The Sober Revolution Here ...