Caryn G | 22nd January 2025 | Dealing With Failure & Setbacks

Ashamed of your drinking habits and feeling like a spectacular failure? Maybe you’ve tried to quit many times but failed dismally. You’ve promised not to drink, only to cave in as soon as someone suggests a quick one. Maybe you didn’t need to be persuaded; you drank just to be defiant and bloody-minded and say “f**k it” to the world and all those judging you. I went down that road many times. It was a road full of potholes, and I fell in every damn one of them. Until one day, I woke up and knew which way to go. I knew how to avoid the potholes or jump out of them if I needed to. I would promise not to drink, and then 10 minutes later I had a glass of wine in my hand. Ashamed of your drinking habits and feeling like a spectacular failure? Maybe you’ve tried to quit many times but failed dismally. You’ve promised not to drink, only to cave in as soon as someone suggests a quick one. Maybe you didn’t need to be persuaded; you drank just to be defiant and bloody-minded and say “f**k it” to the world and all those judging you. I went down that road many times. It was a road full of potholes, and I fell in every damn one of them. Until one day, I woke up and knew which way to go. I knew how to avoid the potholes or jump out of them if I needed to. I would promise not to drink, and then 10 minutes later I had a glass of wine in my hand. Two mouthfuls later and I’d be shaking my head in disbelief and beating myself up for being a bloody-minded idiot and failing spectacularly. I’ve been sober for over 3 years and although I‘ve kicked alcohol, some of the old loser habits still linger. Take last night, for example; I know I should cut down on my sugar intake and give cakes and chocolates a wide berth. I thought about all the sugar I was consuming as I stuffed a sweet mince pie in my mouth. Then I thought, “Sod it!” and shovelled in another one. I didn’t need it, I didn’t want...

Caryn G | 23rd December 2024 | Life After Alcohol

Mulled wine, the sound of clinking glasses, the joyous chatter of family and friends gathered together; this is the Christmas and New Year movie I played in my head for decades. While many looked forward to indulging in seasonal drinks, I found myself grappling with a growing desire to step away from alcohol — particularly during Christmas and the New Year. The urge to quit drinking was strong, but the pressure of societal expectations weighed heavily on my shoulders. My gut was screaming to stop the madness whilst my body yearned to wake up alcohol-free, feeling fresh and relaxed. But, if I stopped drinking at this festive time, wouldn’t it make me the world’s biggest party pooper? The Hangover Cycle I remember waking up on Boxing Day every Christmas with a heavy head and a mouth like sandpaper. The memories of the previous night’s revelries often blurred together as I sifted through the detritus of half-hearted attempts to enjoy myself. Each year, I vowed that this would be the last time I overindulge, yet the allure of festive cheer and the clinking glasses beckoned. The promise of laughter and merriment twinkled like a shining star in the night. Its brightness eclipsed the reality of hangovers — those grotesque mornings spent nursing a bad gut and bleary eyes. I was tired of looking in the mirror at someone who was a stranger to me. A person I despised for being weak and pathetic unable to control her drinking. I wanted to be someone else. Someone vibrant and healthy, not perpetually worn down, looking and feeling like it’s an effort to live. Never Happy After Alcohol? Beyond the immediate effects of hangovers, I came to realize how alcohol impacted my physical and mental health. Alcohol wasn’t just a temporary thrill; it wreaked havoc on my gut, disrupting digestion and leading to uncomfortable bloating, I was sure I would explode if someone were to stick a pin in me. Each drink chip...

Caryn G | 28th August 2024 | Life After Alcohol

You might think that the hardest part of quitting is missing alcohol. You would be wrong! There’s a dark side to being sober that people rarely talk about. The truth is, it can be uncomfortable being sober. There are all sorts of shadows lingering in the darkness waiting for you when you finally get sober. But it’s ok because if you were strong enough to decide to get sober, you’re strong enough to deal with the shadows. After all, everyone needs a hero’s journey because without one there is no happily ever after. “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”― Joseph Campbell There are some dark shadows on the road to lasting sobriety. They’re not easy to deal with but that’s ok because facing them is easier and better than waking up every day feeling guilty because you broke your promise not to drink. It’s better than looking like you’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. Or worse still, wondering when it would be a reasonable hour to have a quick snifter or the hair of the dog. The Shadow of Grief The first shadow you’re going to have to deal with is the loss of your best friend. No, actually I’m wrong. The first uncomfortable truth is realising that alcohol was your best friend! That’s just not an easy truth to swallow. It can be shocking to discover that the only genuine attachment you have developed in your entire life is an attachment to alcohol. Booze, the only thing in your life that you loved and liked. Hell, you don’t even like or respect yourself because if you did, there is no way you would abuse your body, neglect your health or feed your soul with the rotting breadcrumbs of a life badly lived. When you realise that you no longer have a best friend, you’re going to experience feelings of grief. I want to be transparent here, because I believe if you know what to expect, then it’s less scary. You are going to realise just how big a deal alcohol was in your life. Not being able to drink or go out boozing ...

Caryn G | 21st July 2022 | Brutal Truths For The Sober Curious

Self-medicating with alcohol? When we feel like life is shit, the easy thing to do is reach for a drink. Just one glass and all our troubles will disappear. Alcohol, our saviour. Except it isn’t. If you’re reading this, there is a part of you that wants to change your toxic relationship to drink. Intuitively, you know that there is a better way and that you need to wake up because alcohol is not going to change your life for the better. Face it! Accept it and then take steps to change it. First things first, when life is crap and it’s not where we want it to be, we have to accept that no amount of beer, wine or whisky is going to change that. Only you can. Self-medicating with alcohol will hurt you more than it will help. hen you are drinking, you are only focused on the drink. You don’t care about anything else. You don’t care about your health, your family, or your future. All you care about is getting that next drink, getting high or forgetting about your problems. The fact that we are the source of our own problems is something that we drinkers overlook. As an ex-drinker and daughter of an alcoholic, I’ve had decades of experience with alcohol. As an ex-drinker, I know that most of us are able to ignore the fact that alcohol has helped turn us into an emotional retard that is unable to process & manage emotions. This is all perfectly understandable given the drinking culture we are born into. But just because something is understandable doesn’t make it right. Feeling happy? Celebrate with a drink. Problems at work? Forget about them with a drink. eeling bored? Get over it with a drink. Sooner or later, you have to decide you are ready to stop hiding from your fears & failures, make a change for the better, and face the monster under the bed. You can stop self-medicating When we have made that decision, we can take a step towards a brighter future. If you want to quit or reduce your alcohol in...

Caryn G | 04th June 2022 | Life After Alcohol

If you’re thinking about giving up alcohol, or have already done so, then congratulations! It’s definitely not an easy feat, but it’s so worth it in the end. I can say that with conviction because according to my app, I gave up drinking 11 months, 21 days and 16 hours ago. Just to put this into context, my drinking career spanned over four decades, so I think it’s fair to say drinking was a well-established habit. As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” I had tried and failed to give up in the past so I was surprised at how easy I found it this time. But here I am, happy, healthy and alcohol-free. When you give up alcohol, there are a few things that you stop doing. Here are 3 of the big ones. Calculating Your Point Of No Return For starters, you no longer have to worry about calculating how much you can drink before getting a hangover. When you are out with friends or work colleagues, it’s difficult to say no to a drink. But if alcohol is your best friend, it’s virtually impossible to say no to another drink, even though you know you have to get up for work the next morning. You may start the evening with good intentions and decide that you are only going to have just “the one” because of work tomorrow. But, by the time you have chugged your first drink, your good intentions have left the building. Before you know what is happening, you hear yourself saying, “I shouldn’t really but go on then.” “Our society not only encourages drinking — it takes issue with people who don’t drink.” Annie Grace Author of This Naked Mind Bye Bye Guilt One of the major benefits of not drinking is that you are suddenly relieved of a massive amount of guilt. When you stop drinking there is nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t have to worry that you embarrassed yourself by drinking too much, or by saying the wrong thing because alcohol made you brave, obnoxious...