Caryn G | 23rd December 2024 | Life After Alcohol

Mulled wine, the sound of clinking glasses, the joyous chatter of family and friends gathered together; this is the Christmas and New Year movie I played in my head for decades. While many looked forward to indulging in seasonal drinks, I found myself grappling with a growing desire to step away from alcohol — particularly during Christmas and the New Year. The urge to quit drinking was strong, but the pressure of societal expectations weighed heavily on my shoulders. My gut was screaming to stop the madness whilst my body yearned to wake up alcohol-free, feeling fresh and relaxed. But, if I stopped drinking at this festive time, wouldn’t it make me the world’s biggest party pooper? The Hangover Cycle I remember waking up on Boxing Day every Christmas with a heavy head and a mouth like sandpaper. The memories of the previous night’s revelries often blurred together as I sifted through the detritus of half-hearted attempts to enjoy myself. Each year, I vowed that this would be the last time I overindulge, yet the allure of festive cheer and the clinking glasses beckoned. The promise of laughter and merriment twinkled like a shining star in the night. Its brightness eclipsed the reality of hangovers — those grotesque mornings spent nursing a bad gut and bleary eyes. I was tired of looking in the mirror at someone who was a stranger to me. A person I despised for being weak and pathetic unable to control her drinking. I wanted to be someone else. Someone vibrant and healthy, not perpetually worn down, looking and feeling like it’s an effort to live. Never Happy After Alcohol? Beyond the immediate effects of hangovers, I came to realize how alcohol impacted my physical and mental health. Alcohol wasn’t just a temporary thrill; it wreaked havoc on my gut, disrupting digestion and leading to uncomfortable bloating, I was sure I would explode if someone were to stick a pin in me. Each drink chip...

Caryn G | 28th August 2024 | Life After Alcohol

You might think that the hardest part of quitting is missing alcohol. You would be wrong! There’s a dark side to being sober that people rarely talk about. The truth is, it can be uncomfortable being sober. There are all sorts of shadows lingering in the darkness waiting for you when you finally get sober. But it’s ok because if you were strong enough to decide to get sober, you’re strong enough to deal with the shadows. After all, everyone needs a hero’s journey because without one there is no happily ever after. “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”― Joseph Campbell There are some dark shadows on the road to lasting sobriety. They’re not easy to deal with but that’s ok because facing them is easier and better than waking up every day feeling guilty because you broke your promise not to drink. It’s better than looking like you’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. Or worse still, wondering when it would be a reasonable hour to have a quick snifter or the hair of the dog. The Shadow of Grief The first shadow you’re going to have to deal with is the loss of your best friend. No, actually I’m wrong. The first uncomfortable truth is realising that alcohol was your best friend! That’s just not an easy truth to swallow. It can be shocking to discover that the only genuine attachment you have developed in your entire life is an attachment to alcohol. Booze, the only thing in your life that you loved and liked. Hell, you don’t even like or respect yourself because if you did, there is no way you would abuse your body, neglect your health or feed your soul with the rotting breadcrumbs of a life badly lived. When you realise that you no longer have a best friend, you’re going to experience feelings of grief. I want to be transparent here, because I believe if you know what to expect, then it’s less scary. You are going to realise just how big a deal alcohol was in your life. Not being able to drink or go out boozing ...

Caryn G | 27th June 2022 | Life After Alcohol

Hindsight is said to be 20/20 for a reason. Once we have time to look back on a situation, we often see things that we previously missed. This can be especially true when it comes to quitting drinking. Only when we quit can we look back and see how we were behaving like a victim. We often don’t realise we have signed up to play a victim’s role in life. We prefer to think of ourselves in the leading role. The hero battling against the terrible injustices that fate and life throw at us. Bravely dealing with our badges of pain. When we are caught up in the throes of addiction, it can be difficult to see just how much our drinking is impacting our lives. We can’t see the impact because alcohol blinds us and numbs our senses. We know it’s dark outside, but we would rather stay buried deep in the rabbit hole than face the scary monsters outside. Yes, alcohol dulls the pain, but it also dumbs down everything else. The Emotionally Unavailable Lover Only when we look back can we understand that we fell for the wrong lover. The one that played hard to get and was emotionally unavailable to us. You know what I’m talking about. We love them, but they never love us back. We want them and desire them. We give them everything. Our money, our time, our freedom. We obsess over them. We don’t really love them or like them but we want them and want is a stronger motivator than like. We need to be noticed and loved and wanted back. But this is something the emotionally unavailable lover will never do. The truth is, no one can love us back until we first love ourselves. Being A Victim You may not even realise that you are acting like a victim. Those who suffer from alcoholism often act like victims or consciously see themselves as victims, its referred to as victimism or having a victim-mindset. I didn’t realise I had been acting like a victim until I had the gift of hindsight and started to observe others who liked to drink or were trying hard to quit. Dr...

Caryn G | 18th June 2022 | Life After Alcohol

Never drinking & staying sober is a skill. No one ever tells you the real truth about drinking when you’re young. There isn’t a class in high school, college or university where a professor stands up and says, “Understand this one big point: learning about alcohol is vital if you want to be a success in life. Everything important you do in life requires research. What university to go to? What job? What shirt goes with what jeans? What’s the best phone? So doesn’t it make sense to research alcohol first?” Instead, alcohol remains this massive unknown in most people’s everyday life. They don’t know how to control it. They don’t know how to secretly drink more of it. They don’t know how long it will be before they can’t function at work. They don’t know how to get more money to spend on it. They don’t know how to give it up. They don’t know how to live without it. And that’s a massive problem for anyone to live with. 11 months, 25 days and 13 hours ago, I gave up drinking. I did this because I wanted to but also to support my friend, who was having a hard time giving up. Not for the first time, I made up my mind to quit. But this time I asked a Wildfit coach for help and he suggested the book by Annie Grace, This Naked Mind (I highly recommend this). It turned out that making a concrete decision, taking positive action and having a non-drinking friend were exactly the 3 things I needed to get started successfully. I would later discover that getting started wasn’t the hard thing. As time ticked by, I realised that I needed a foundation of knowledge and strategies to put in place. Which is what I’d like to share with you today. Knowledge is power which is why I'd like to share three important points that will help you navigate giving up alcohol. The quicker you understand these points and plan for them, the easier it will be for you to stay sober. 1. Alcohol Endings and Sober Beginnings One of the first things...

Caryn G | 04th June 2022 | Life After Alcohol

If you’re thinking about giving up alcohol, or have already done so, then congratulations! It’s definitely not an easy feat, but it’s so worth it in the end. I can say that with conviction because according to my app, I gave up drinking 11 months, 21 days and 16 hours ago. Just to put this into context, my drinking career spanned over four decades, so I think it’s fair to say drinking was a well-established habit. As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” I had tried and failed to give up in the past so I was surprised at how easy I found it this time. But here I am, happy, healthy and alcohol-free. When you give up alcohol, there are a few things that you stop doing. Here are 3 of the big ones. Calculating Your Point Of No Return For starters, you no longer have to worry about calculating how much you can drink before getting a hangover. When you are out with friends or work colleagues, it’s difficult to say no to a drink. But if alcohol is your best friend, it’s virtually impossible to say no to another drink, even though you know you have to get up for work the next morning. You may start the evening with good intentions and decide that you are only going to have just “the one” because of work tomorrow. But, by the time you have chugged your first drink, your good intentions have left the building. Before you know what is happening, you hear yourself saying, “I shouldn’t really but go on then.” “Our society not only encourages drinking — it takes issue with people who don’t drink.” Annie Grace Author of This Naked Mind Bye Bye Guilt One of the major benefits of not drinking is that you are suddenly relieved of a massive amount of guilt. When you stop drinking there is nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t have to worry that you embarrassed yourself by drinking too much, or by saying the wrong thing because alcohol made you brave, obnoxious...