Quit Lit Blog

You might think that the hardest part of quitting is missing alcohol. You would be wrong! There’s a dark side to being sober that people rarely talk about. The truth is, it can be uncomfortable being sober. There are all sorts of shadows lingering in the darkness waiting for you when you finally get sober. But it’s ok because if you were strong enough to decide to get sober, you’re strong enough to deal with the shadows. After all, everyone needs a hero’s journey because without one there is no happily ever after. “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”― Joseph Campbell There are some dark shadows on the road to lasting sobriety. They’re not easy to deal with but that’s ok because facing them is easier and better than waking up every day feeling guilty because you broke your promise not to drink. It’s better than looking like you’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. Or worse still, wondering when it would be a reasonable hour to have a quick snifter or the hair of the dog. The Shadow of Grief The first shadow you’re going to have to deal with is the loss of your best friend. No, actually I’m wrong. The first uncomfortable truth is realising that alcohol was your best friend! That’s just not an easy truth to swallow. It can be shocking to discover that the only genuine attachment you have developed in your entire life is an attachment to alcohol. Booze, the only thing in your life that you loved and liked. Hell, you don’t even like or respect yourself because if you did, there is no way you would abuse your body, neglect your health or feed your soul with the rotting breadcrumbs of a life badly lived. When you realise that you no longer have a best friend, you’re going to experience feelings of grief. I want to be transparent here, because I believe if you know what to expect, then it’s less scary. You are going to realise just how big a deal alcohol was in your life. Not being able to drink or go out boozing is going to create a huge void which you will have to fill. You will feel like you have lost a loved one and for some of you it will hurt like hell. The good news is now that you are no longer a slave to alcohol, you get to choose what and who you fill that void with. This is harder than it sounds, so start with yourself. Make an effort to love yourself, rethink your values and create a better you. To give you some context, since I quit drinking alcohol I have started running, and I have taken myself from the couch to 5k. I’ve set up a niche website and learnt new skills and I’ve made an effort to stay connected to people who I want to be around. Not people who just happen to be in a bar and who also like drinking. Life get’s better without alcohol. Much, much better! The Shadow Of Stunted Growth Once the alcoholic haze has lifted and you realise that you can no longer rely on alcohol to numb the pain or help you make stupid, irrational emotional decisions. You’re left with only one option: face your problems and feel all sorts of negative emotions in their true, raw form. Indecision, confusion, fear, hate, anger. For the first time in your life, you are going to understand that you are an emotional retard who has never learnt the skills needed to deal with life without alcohol. But like everything on this journey, there is a massive upside. In this case, it’s the chance to rebuild your life. You get a chance to make better decisions, to learn new supporting skills, and to learn how to navigate confusion and uncertainty. Making better decisions is a skill, negotiating pain is a skill. All it takes is a little guidance and a bit of patience. The Shadow of The Reckoning Once your mind and body are at peace and your subconscious figures out you are stable, it’s going to start bringing up past traumas. I won’t lie. This can be quite a shock when it starts to happen. Both my friend and I went through this at the same time, so we were able to ...